provenance: unknown

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The peril of self-publishing

So I’ve been pretty quiet for a while. I had no idea I would be so silent, so long. And I have no idea if it will continue, or not. No idea at all.

I mean, I know it’s up to me. Boy do I know it. That’s why I haven’t, until now, written about not writing: All there was to say was, I’m doing other things right now. And I guess my two greatest aversions in writing here are to talking about myself for my own sake, and to stating the obvious.… So I found I had nothing to say about my silence.

I’m still not sure there’s anything to say, but at some point silence communicates something by itself, and that I do not intend. That is, despite my lack of activity here, I have not abandoned this project, not in any real way. I still ponder things to write, and even start writing them, all the time; and I feel like I could finish one or two or four at any moment. Not that I seem to be all that likely to, judging from my recent trend, but I don’t really know.

In any case, if there is something to say, it’s this: The freedom to stop — or to continue — is one of those essential aspects that makes self-publishing what it is. If a person does it, you know it’s because they decided to, because they want to, for their own reasons. This is great when it works. It means everyone is not just a craftsman, but an artist; we are all following our own muse. Quality is a matter of degree, not of kind. And, yes, it is sad when it fails — but it is not sad that it fails. It has to fail, sometimes; it’s how you know it’s genuine.

As for me, personally, I suspect — this is sort of a hunch, really — I’ll be more or less distracted from my efforts here until sometime this coming spring. Life is interesting, right now, but rather unsettled — there is a very good but very new person in it, the probability of a new location, and, most of all, the feeling that it is time for new things. So I have much to do, and to figure out — it feels almost as if I have everything to figure out, all over again (though in a good way) — and no idea how much energy and focus I will have left over for the other projects I also hope to pursue. No idea at all, really.

We will see.

November 21, 2003 11:28 PM


dude, an update, please? with specifics?
where are you now?

Posted by kelly on January 22, 2004 1:58 PM

Still sorting some things out, I guess -- too many open questions, right now, to pretend I have many answers....

Posted by Matt on January 27, 2004 10:54 AM

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