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Gone shopping

Should you decide to stay inside one day because the roads between you and your new home are reportedly quite icy, you just might become curious if you can acquire a knife block from Amazon.com relatively cheaply. This is in fact quite silly, on account of you're never going to pay more than $5 for a knife block in your life again, having acquired one for no more than that at Goodwill in San Francisco, and, while you left that one with a now-former housemate 3000 miles away, you do also have another one, which, even if it is small (and came with a ridiculously cheap set of never-needs-sharpening knives you otherwise have no use for, come to think of it), is at least adequate for the knives you use most often.

Anyway, as I was saying, it not being wise driving weather and you being on Amazon anyway in your ongoing and (heretofore) fruitless quest for half-decent (but cheap, plastic) flatware trays, you might look for a knife block. You won't find one to buy, but you will still be amused, I promise you. You will discover, for instance, that the heft and weight of the Henckels 22-Slot Knife Storage Block, Oak is, according to one reviewer, "probably a good thing if there are little kids around" — presumably because little kids know better than to take the knives out of the block themselves, but are always a threat to knock them out accidental-like. The Henckels 10-Slot Hardwood Knife Block, on the other hand, not only isn't as kid-safe, it is a veritable haven for even smaller household pests. Or, at least, so writes another enlightened Amazon reviewer (whose generous use of ellipses dots will remind some readers of a certain former online acquaintance):

I use to totally love this knife block. Right up to the point I wondered if those narrow slots that go all the way through to the botton of the knife block should be cleaned?............ God was I AMAZED to find spider webs inside the slots. My home is bug free due to Pest treatment each month. Yet there was spider webs inside those narrow slots......... Those slots are about 1/4 inch at its narrowest point, perfict for bugs to get into, and IMPOSSIBLE to clean!!...... Needless to say, it was the last time I ever used this or any other knike block.

Which all just goes to show, a failed shopping trip to Amazon is likely to be far more entertaining than one to an actual store. Not to mention that, while you're there, you can also add the $1,299.00 Wüsthof Grand Prix 26-Piece Mega Block Knife Set with Block to your wishlist, just for kicks. Whee!

November 17, 2002 2:53 PM

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