provenance: unknown

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How to be cool

1. Go to North Face outlet store during clearance sale.
2. Look for pants, because you already have a Gore-Tex® jacket.
3. Discover bin of dark green, baggy, 58 percent Cordura® nylon/42 percent Supplex® nylon outdoor-style pants.
4. Lament how standard-sized pants never — never — combine a 32-inch waste with a 36-inch inseam. Also lament: Too-short pants ugly as sin; ankles too damn skinny.
5. Decide pants are so cheap, you want one anyway.
6. Eyeball size XL, even though waste is wider than your hips. Discover: Worn low-slung-style, pant leg is long enough.
7. Ponder awesome transformational capability of the belt.
8. Purchase.

(some time later)

9. Do laundry.
10. Rediscover pants, neglected because low-hanging crotchal area chafes thigh when you walk.
11. Wear pants — low-on-hip, ultra-baggy-style! Cool!

April 3, 2002 1:11 PM

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Posted by Rife on May 8, 2004 11:48 PM

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Copyright ©2001-2003 Matt Pfeffer


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